love still

i do not know what He plans for me
but yet, I will just carry on with the plan
or rather let it freeze in time
last week's theme for tarbiyah:
check your intention
check your intention
check your intention

the confusion is not something that i long for
i just want it to end real soon
to have the answer that i've waited for a long time
but
there is nothing to fight for
there is no one to fight with but yourself

the fight is not about where to live
the conversation is much deeper on
the path that i'm gonna take in the future
what's my plan?
how strong is my determination?
could i feel the highest momentum of iman?

time beats me fast that i've never noticed i'm far left behind
being in time is exhausting
let alone catching after it

i wonder

does my dunya clock is ticking so fast that my death is closely approaching?
my Allah ease everything and accept my repentance....