a living homo sapien creature with many thoughts in mind. shall i say it complex?

first, it's about how you think you freeze in time and not moving anywhere. felt that in a way people are changing. you can see that from their attitudes, their perseverance to change. but you? as if you're the same, staying in the same attitude. you just couldn't deny that you've tried. but you just can't. or maybe not enough.

then comes about staying to be you. but somehow it just affect others. the moment you be yourself, people are judging. like come on. you don't know what's in my mind. like sometimes i don't think what people are thinking. now i deem myself as of being isolated. mentally.

have i mention that i'd rather stay reserved each day? i mean each passing day. getting more reserved. you can see from the reason on the top, if i say something, people judge. even if i don't say anything, people still judge. what's wrong with this world? i admit that i just love to keep for myself. not that i'm feelingless. but i just feel that it's not that important for others to know. i know. alter ego.

then comes the haunted mind of the future. of the endless thinking that i've made each day. like. is this how adults deal with their lives? i just shut. and blurt out in any possible time. but just with some people. but yet. the biggest secret lies within me. i don't care how much people dig. i just don't want people to see me there. in that state.